I need Thee every hour…
Lord, I am tired, fatigued, and my faith is running low,
I know I need some help, but I’m unsure where to go.
So, I am reaching out to You, because I feel so lost,
I thought I could do this, but not at such a sacrificial cost.
My friends don’t seem to recognize I am in such need and I feel afraid,
Frustration has gripped me somehow, while suddenly I’m so dismayed.
I try to make the right choices for my loved one who is frail and ill,
I can still hear Your whisper in my ear, telling me to “know, and be still…”
I try to remain calm, and surrender self to this strange routine each day,
But with each hour, my ability to sustain the loss of self fades fastly away.
Do I ask for help, or tell the doctor I am under too much stress?
Lord, how did I become such a complete and distressed mess?
I know I need to talk to someone, so here I am asking You-
Lord, I invite You into this worn out soul, “if only” You’re willing to…
Create in me a pure heart, and like a child I will obey,
Only please Lord, open my eyes so that I can see what good comes my way.
I have become blinded by the fool hearted notion that I could do this alone,
I thought I could care for my loved one, and others would soon come.
Lord, not many called, not many came, and I feel so lost and numb,
I can’t seem to balance my own life, much less that of a loved one.
I am overwhelmed and stressed beyond the max,
I forgot how to slow down, or be calm or just how to relax.
I am not sleeping, eating or living well,
Surely, surely, my friends can tell…
Maybe my aquantances are being polite or don’t know what to say,
Maybe, they are afraid to offer help, in fear of becoming this way?
Lord, why do distant relatives run and hide when I call?
Don’t they care, they are my kin afterall.
Then Lord, there’s those who tell me what I should do,
But they don’t have a clue- not even the slightest clue.
I will not lay blame, and I will forgive them all, oh yes I will,
With Your help, because I can’t on my own, I will know and be still.
Help me to realize that this is a journey I’m on,
“Though I walk through the valley” there is joy to come.
Let joy come Lord, “Jehovah-Raphi,” heal this heart today,
Joy’s in there somewhere, underneath all the distraction, deceit and dismay.
I will learn to slow down and make a cozy margin for self care,
I will ask for help and watch for who will actually want to care.
Because I know You will bring help, and things will be okay.
Even if I can’t see through the foggy maze today.
And if help doesn’t arrive how and when I think it should,
Help me to remember, that with You there is mercy and only good.
Sometimes knowledge and understanding and wisdom seems way too deep,
I forget all of His-story has been Yours, not mine, to keep.
Open my eyes and open my heart,
Don’t let me slip into the rabbit hole of self-pity and be torn apart.
This will take some time for me Lord, since this all so new to me,
But I will find my strength in You and be steadfast for others to see.
Or maybe I have been this way for way too long,
Only then, Lord, cause me in You, to be strong.
Yes, I will shine, even in this lamenting prayer of mine,
And no matter what Lord, I know with Your power I will be fine.
Forgive me for my lack of faith, and for thinking I could do it all,
Help me to remember that others do care and some do listen when I call.
I know I have to step out in faith,
This is what it will take.
One foot in front of the other,
Just breathe, where under Your wings I will find cover.
When the going gets rough and I fail to try,
Remind me that even a strong man cries.
Loss of others and loss of what used to be,
Is truly what seems to be hindering me.
Though aging and sickness and death comes,
It makes me afraid of the unknown.
But You, Lord, You know my end,
Thanks for taking my burdon, and for being My one true Friend.
It will dawn on me, to call You when I get this way,
Every hour, every day, I am in need of You, and I need You, today.
I have a passion for helping caregivers every day or advocating for seniors in every way. This prayer is for all of the caregivers out there. Be strong!
Hugs to all, Dawn 🙂